We are sitting on the couch in the make-shift tent we have created because I know that she doesn't like to hear about things like that publicly. Not that the sleeping dog is much of a public, but it is the perception of being observed and judged that matters here. This concept of private verses public that can best be achieved by covering ourselves under purple covers.
Yes, I have done it again, forgotten rule number one when it comes to selective mutism. I have forgotten that I should not ask her to talk but instead focus simply on creating safe and secure scenarios and build her confidence (and anxiety-managing toolbox) so that she is so busy being her true self that she forgets that the walls occasionally still creep up on us.
I may have done a few mistakes today, but how I dealt with these mistakes was actually the best thing I did all week. In this purple haven, this safe and open zone, we connect and re-build a trust that can only occur when we have shared so much of ourselves. While in the past, we couldn't talk about the fear, here, it stands apart from us, visible and acknowledged. It is not this overpowering force that controls us anymore. Here and now, we have built a new bridge that wasn't there moments ago.
I will probably continue to make mistakes as a parent, but I will also continue to do things right. To build trust and to smile when my daughter tells me that I don't have to apologize because she knows that in the end, we both want to see her fly.
Remember what you did well this week...