"I had no idea. There were no signs that anything was wrong. It's the first time I hear about this..."
Yes, sometimes we find things out when it's too late, when it's hard to create change because the damage has already been done. When all we can do is assess the destruction and try to deal with the consequences.
Occasionally, we can hear a call for help. We can train our ears to listen to the words that are NOT spoken.
How to improve your inner hearing:
- Does the message match the delivery? In other words, do the words match the attitude, body language and non-verbal signals sent by the person?
- Listen to the hints. Did this person (or child) drop hints, words, phrases, tiny crumbs, to indicate that something is off. Follow those crumbs. Mention that you are here to listen when they are ready to talk.
- Ask the person how you can help. We do not help by taking on someone's problem or by invading their choices with our belief system. The best way to help is to listen, share relevant experiences, and help them see that they have choices in front of them. It is not about drowning with them, but about empowering them to do what needs to be done.
What your heart tells you about a situation is often more true that what your ears hear.
Yes, sometimes we find things out when it's too late, when it's hard to create change because the damage has already been done. When all we can do is assess the destruction and try to deal with the consequences.
Occasionally, we can hear a call for help. We can train our ears to listen to the words that are NOT spoken.
How to improve your inner hearing:
- Does the message match the delivery? In other words, do the words match the attitude, body language and non-verbal signals sent by the person?
- Listen to the hints. Did this person (or child) drop hints, words, phrases, tiny crumbs, to indicate that something is off. Follow those crumbs. Mention that you are here to listen when they are ready to talk.
- Ask the person how you can help. We do not help by taking on someone's problem or by invading their choices with our belief system. The best way to help is to listen, share relevant experiences, and help them see that they have choices in front of them. It is not about drowning with them, but about empowering them to do what needs to be done.
What your heart tells you about a situation is often more true that what your ears hear.
